Not Spending Money

Uncle Sam says... You really should join the Army.

Has a similar scenario ever happened to you?

Uncle Sam says... You really should join the Army.

Has a similar scenario ever happened to you?

You go into the hair cutting place and are prepared to pay the few dollars it takes to get a haircut. “You know,” says the stylist while he has you captive under the shampoo, “You really should use a product that isn’t full of wax and doesn’t strip your hair.” He (or she) then proceeds to tell you why your 99 cent a bottle shampoo-plus-conditioner from Wal-Mart really is of the devil, and why your PARTICULAR hair type really needs this kind of treatment, which is really the only responsible product for your hair. You should also buy a different type of hair dryer and brushes, because it’s really just basic hygiene, and by the way, they just happen to sell it all in their salon.

Or maybe you go to a pet store, and casually mention that you want a bowl, food, and leash for the dog you inherited from your neighbors when they moved to Florida without poor Fifi.  ”Yes,” says their resident pet specialist, “but you really should consider getting a small cage as well, if you are new to dog ownership. And that cheap dog food is really terrible for their health– you really should get them something with proper nutrition. And you really should consider basic grooming needs, like a brush and clippers, as well as thinking about these books for first-time dog owners to help you adjust to the new member of your family. And if you really want to get their attention while training, you should consider some of these special treats as well.”

You really should have an extra mini-tube of toothpaste for when out-of-town guests come stay; so many forget and get their large tubes confiscated at airport security.

You really should get athletic shoes that are properly fitted in a boutique store instead of just grabbing whatever’s on sale at your favorite shoe warehouse store. It will give you proper posture and help you avoid injury.

You really should replace all your incandescent bulbs with the compact flourescent ones, or even the LCD variety. It will save you money in the long run and it’s better for the environment.

You really should build your house with the higher-grade windows. They will keep down your energy costs over time.

You should buy American.

You should eat organic.

You should buy a bike.

You really should… you really should.

The thing is, so many of these things could actually be right.  Doesn’t the doctor know more about health than I do? Doesn’t my contractor know more about building a house and selecting materials than I do? Doesn’t the vet know more about my dog, even if it DOES seem a little silly to me to get the shoulder-height bowl instead of the basic aluminum one, to give him better posture?

I’m not talking about neccessities, like groceries and health insurance and rent. I’m talking about all the experts that are out there that recommend exactly how to take care of one particular area of your life– and often recommending spending much more than you originally intended. If we added up every single little thing that we “really should” do as recommended by professionals, we probably couldn’t afford it, no matter what one’s income bracket. Should I buy the complete makeup line that suits my skintone and covers me from morning till night? Should I get that pillow that gives me better posture in my sleep, letting me rest better at night so I can work better in the day? Should I really spend as much on a wedding present as it cost the bride and groom spend to host me as their guest? Should I? Should I eat green eggs and ham? Yes, I should, Sam-I-Am!

I don’t know if you’ve caught on yet, but real life doesn’t always let us do all the things we “should” do with our money. Sometimes, it’s because we’re doing things we “shouldn’t” do. You shouldn’t smoke. You shouldn’t buy that dress when you have two more like it at home. You shouldn’t buy that piece of furniture that really doesn’t fit in your house. But sometimes we need our “shouldn’ts” too, and even if we cut them all out, there still wouldn’t be enough money to cover all the “shoulds”. Ultimately, we have to sort out what’s important to us… and what isn’t.

So what should we do?

First of all, we have to use our brains here. No Spending Fairy is going to come in with some sort of magic equation that solves our spending quandaries. (”You should listen to your doctor, but not your real estate agent! You should not buy clothes, except on your birthday! Presto, problem solved!” *spending fairy disappears in puff of smoke*) If you CAN afford to take the advice of every salesman that comes your way, by all means, go right ahead. But if you can’t, then listen to their expertise, and then go do your own research and make your own decisions. Do you really need the warranty on the camera like the girl suggested? Do you really need the entire set of knives that the guy was saying you should get? Or do you just need the camera, and the knife? Do you really want to skimp out on your work wardrobe when you’re up for promotion? Should you really get the book recommended by Oprah that they don’t have in the library? Does your kid really need the materials her teacher suggested? Or can she get by with last years’ supplies?

Everybody else is right, of course. After all, they’re the experts.

But maybe you’re an expert, too, at deciding whose words and suggestions are most important in your life and your spending, and which are not.

You should think about that.

Good question, Richard Scarry.

I have friends who are doing a lot of different things with their lives. Among my closest friends are engineers, programmers, schoolteachers, bellydancers, artists, linguists, mothers, published authors, a geophysicist, a missionary, a medical physicist, an Olympic hopeful, and more.

Widen the circle out more (to acquaintances and friends of friends) and it includes doctors, business owners, scientists who study oncology, Lyme disease or AIDS, lawyers who help people become citizens, Olympic rowers, a Nobel Prize winner, actors, musicians, bankers, artistic directors, video game designers/academics, entrepreneurs, CEOs of international companies, masseuses, martial arts masters, cancer survivors, inventors, contractors, truck drivers, animators, nurses, a puppeteer, and more.

And the list goes on.

What all of these people have in common is that they are all successful, but in completely different ways. One person can be inspiring, but sometimes it’s easy to lose that inspiration because that one person made decisions we wouldn’t feel comfortable making or have capitalized on talents or resources we might not neccessarily have.  But looking at a whole lineup of inspiration, I see that each and every one of these people have taken a very different path in life, each capitalizing on different talents and resources, each making different steps. And some of them line up more with my interests, and some have been given similar resources.

How do you get there from here?

All of these types of success require education, but education as in “learning”, not neccessarily education as in “school”. For example, I don’t know how to drive an 18-wheeler, but the fact that someone else does keeps our entire economy on its feet. And the one I know didn’t used to know how to drive one, either; he went and learned and got a licence so he could get a new job in a new state to support his new wife. And learning a new language isn’t easy, but there are lots of materials on the Internet for beginners before you even pay for a class.

Tuition isn’t free. But initiative is.

And sometimes, initiative is what it takes the most of to go off on a new vein, change the way we approach success, make a change in career or take a specialized knowledge to the next level.  A recent blog post by acclaimed web analyst Avinash Kaushik talks about how sometimes the most important changes in our career paths are not what happens on the job but what happens on our own time and the initiative we take with our own learning.  ( Web Analytics Career Advice: Play In The Real World!)  Even though he’s talking specifically about web analytics (examining user behavior on your website to make more money for the company), his advice is really applicable to everyone, regardless of interest or specialty or desired area of growth– Don’t be limited by what other people have taught you. The limitless kind of education is what you teach yourself.

A similar message is the core of The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get A Real Life and Education by Grace Llewellyn. Written to advocate “unschooling”, it is full of ideas that can be practiced by people of any age to expand their knowledge in any direction. Whether you agree with her principles on schooling youngsters or not, the message is the same — Education and learning are everywhere, and it’s available for those who have the initiative to find it, not limited to those who can afford tuition.

Maybe you don’t want a new career. Maybe you just want a new hobby, but don’t have the money for pottery class or a whole set of supplies.  Maybe you want to learn more about your existing job but your company won’t pay to send you to that conference or enroll you in training. Maybe you’re just bored…

Just don’t use lack of money as an excuse.

Here are some ideas to get started:

Do you think this guy went to juggling school?

If you want to know more about music…

• Browse the Internet for free sheet music. Or tabs for your instrument of choice. Watch YouTube videos of people playing instruments. Slow it down if you want. Play it frame by frame to learn the fingering. Join forums so you can learn from other enthusiasts. Or find other enthusiasts in your area.  Sure, take a class or lessons if you want. But if it’s not an option, find things that are.  Don’t have an instrument to play? Well, do you have one available that is less interesting to you but will teach you the basics of music anyway?  What about your voice?  There are a lot of resources online about learning to use your voice before you decide to sign up for lessons.  And with anything you choose to learn about, the ability for you to contribute back what you’ve learned (and accept feedback) is huge. Join a local band. Start your own YouTube channel. Keep a blog of your progress as you learn more and invite your friends to give feedback. Once you’ve mastered a small step (like learning a scale in a different key), make an easy tutorial and make it available online, or volunteer at a local elementary school or library to teach what you’ve learned to youngsters.

If you want to know more about computers…

• This is probably the biggest area of knowledge available online.  Computer-related knowledge is available everywhere– people discussing new languages, people writing introductions to existing ones, documentation for APIs, entry-level tutorials on how to use Photoshop or other programs, extensive Help files for all the Microsoft products that might have come on your computer; it’s a little overwhelming. Start by giving yourself easy projects; if you don’t know enough yet to know what questions to ask, look at the questions that other people are asking online about your subject.  Sometimes libraries and community centers have free classes in basic computer literacy skills. Or if you want something more complex, of course you could sign up for a class,but most of the programmers I know have learned all their best skills on their own time, and some have never been to college at all but have an immense ammount of computer knowledge.  Since this area of knowledge is so vast, you’ll have to just dig in yourself and see what’s available in your interest range. I guarantee you it is out there.

If you want to hone your business skills in your own industry…

• Try Toastmasters if you want to learn to be a better speaker, which will serve well in almost any profession.  Or if you’re not interested in paying their dues, look at their free resources.  Research your own profession online and see what skills will take you farther than you are now.  Figure out what software you need to learn, what new models are coming out, what the trends in your industry are.  Read opinion blogs on your line of work. Figure out who the movers and shakers are in your industry. If you want, try to contact them. Many industry leaders keep blogs on which you can comment or send emails. Even if you don’t get a response, going through the process of articulating your question and presenting it professionally is good practice.  And sometimes you will get a response– I knew someone in high school who had written letters to his favorite sports heros and public figures all his life, and by the time he was 17 had collected enough responses to write a book, which then was published. Check books out of the library. Check your professional demeanor in the mirror. Have talks with your boss, your co-workers, mentors, other people who have achieved success.

These are just some ideas for starters. You probably have your own ideas– feel free to share.  Write your own lists of inspirational success stories of the people you know and how they got there. Or jot down the things YOU want to learn. So you want to take a class? Why? If tuition isn’t an option, why should that stop you from increasing your knowledge anyway?

Just don’t let your finances keep you from taking the initiative to educate yourself.

Images courtesy of Fada Moranga, Chics Thoughts and Blogs.

Colonel Mustard, in the Library, with the Candlestick!

We used to call them “bored games” because so many of them were only interesting if you were really bored. Why sit around a piece of cardboard and roll some dice if you could be playing pirates in the treehouse? Because seriously, pirates and treehouses are way cool. But that was a different era, back when I was truly beginning to understand that your chances of winning Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders against your stuffed animals were equally as good as your chances of winning against your friends. And sometimes, equally compelling. Grizzly and Hoot were fierce competition.

The thing is, board games for adults are SO much better than the colorful fare we grew out of years ago.  For one thing, they rely on things besides chance, things like creativity, strategy, verbal accuity, or ability to second-guess the other players.  Board games give people a common topic and a focal point for an evening, provide an excuse to get together, and can help trigger conversation with people that you’re getting to know better.   The whole point, really, is to have an activity for people to enjoy together besides talking and eating, which are good so far as they go, but sometimes it’s fun to liven things up. For a variety of reasons, such as the sluggish economy, boredom of the pickup scene, or a rise in geek culture, board games have been picking up steam recently as entertainment for gathering adults as well as families.

In Chicago, a number of bars around the city have started supplying board games or hosting board game nights, as this article, Bars with Board Games, describes.  It’s an older article (yay for Internet archives) and there are similar activities going on in lots of cities. In Washington, DC, there is a new dating club opening up that centers specifically around playing board games to get to know each other, as described in this recent article Find Love over Board Games at Play Date DC.  In Philadelphia, the ancient game of Go is enjoying a revival.  Even if you can’t find anything in your area, you could always start your own event or gathering using tips in the article How to Start a Board Game Club.

Some games to start out with:

Taboo is good for people who can read each others' minds.

Taboo

The point of this game is to get other people to guess a word without saying certain “taboo” words. I like this game because I’m good at blurting things and I think fast. Plus, there is a big loud buzzer you can push if someone says the wrong thing. For some reason, not all of my friends like it as much as I do. It’s best played with people of similar aggressiveness, or people who will know a lot of the same references as each other.

Cranium is a silly game that is very accessible for mixed groups.

Cranium

This game probably was invented because families have a hard time deciding what to play. So someone must have taken Pictionary, Trivial Pursuit, Charades, and some word games and said “I know, let’s mush them all into the same game!” And hilarity ensues. I’ve found that the challenges in Cranium are much easier than many of the aforementioned games– impersonations can include sound, items to draw are mostly objects, and the trivia questions are about major events and not obscure authors from minor literary movements. It’s a silly game with a relatively low entry threshold, making it a good one for mixes of people with varied interests or age levels.

Settlers of Catan is an engaging game of resource management.

Settlers of Catan

This is probably one of the favorite board games among the young adults I know, and is too complex for younger kids. Each person has to builds roads and settlements on an map made from hexagonal tiles that changes every game. Each tile represents a different type of natural resource; as you build, you harvest more and more resources, so you can build, which uses up resources.  It’s a strategy game that involves keeping track of several variables at once, and sometimes it’s not obvious who will win until the last moment of the game.   There is even a Seafarers version which has the additional strategy option of oceans, islands, and shipping lines to contend with.

Game of Thrones is ridiculously lengthy and complex but worth it.

Game of Thrones

Like a super complex mix between the aforementioned Settlers of Catan and the time-honored classic Risk, Game of Thrones involves several factions simultaneously protecting their own lands, harvesting and husbanding resources, growing armies, while taking over the world and also angling for the throne. Apparently that’s the plot of the popular George R.R. Martin fantasy series by the same name, which I have not read and still thoroughly enjoyed the game.  It takes a ridiculously long time to set up and read the rules, especially for first-time players, so it’s best played with people who will enjoy keeping up with the convoluted structure of the game. That being said, it does take the best aspects of the aforementioned classics and is a lot of fun.

Stocks and Bonds is a combination of strategy and chance, planning and intuition.

Stocks and Bonds

In this game, you are a Wall Street investor and have a wide variety of stocks and bonds to choose from. Each turn, a combination of cards and dice will determine whether the various investments will go up or down.  At the end of ten “years”, each of which you’ll have the opportunity to buy or sell, the investor with the most money wins.  The game is fun because everyone has an exact equal chance; there is a lot of chance involved with what the “market” does, but overall, one’s choices in strategy will be more influential in one’s success at the end.  The one drawback to this game is that if you play often, you will get to know the behavior of individual stocks and will most likely beat any newcomers who just read their profiles.

Chess is a fun game that encourages communication

Chess

Yes, I have to include this, as a representation of ALL the classic and ancient games that you probably already have in some form in your own house or among your group of friends.  The rules are free on the Internet, and if you don’t have a set you could easily make your own out of paper. Chess isn’t nearly as complicated as it seemed when we were kids– sometimes the secret is playing with others at your ability level as it is discouraging to always play with super good players who always beat us. Or if you are around good players, use it as an opportunity to learn the game, it will spark good conversation and give an opportunity for a friend to share their knowlege, which is a good friendship builder.

And no, I will NOT provide the links to buy them.  Games are expensive– buying one and playing it regularly will certainly save on entertainment costs when compared to going out, but buying several on the off-chance that you’ll enjoy them will just clutter up your house and empty your pocketbook.  Go borrow them from your neighbors or  invite your friends over who have the games.  Ask around the office if people play any board games, and which ones they prefer. Maybe they’ll loan one to you.

Any other board games that you particularly enjoy? Share!

A website that I like to read on a semi-regular basis is Snopes.com, where the author investigates the veracity of Internet rumors.  Many of these rumors involve fraudulent job offers, which desperate job seekers will shell out money for, only to be scammed.

Craigslist and other classifieds sites abound with deals that are scammy.  A common ruse is a potential roommate sends you the first month’s check in the mail, except that it’s written for over the designated amount.  ”Sorry,” she says. “Can you just keep a few hundred for your efforts and then send the remainder back to me?” So you dutifully go down to the bank, send her the money, and await her arrival only to realize that her original (probably foreign) check or money order never cleared.

The internet is full of “opportunities” that can be yours if you only send in your payment of 59.95 as a “processing fee”.

I write about not spending money. Obviously there are times when spending money is neccessary; that’s why we earn it. But it occurred to me that using “not spending money” as a guide when dealing with Internet deals can be a handy tool to sniff out or avoid scams.  Everybody wants your money. Chances are, if people are asking for it and not giving anything in return (yet) or seemingly will give too much in return, you might want to think twice.

• Are they asking for money for something you can get or do for free elsewhere?
• Are they asking for money for a phenomenal sum or something of phenomenal value that you’ll get later?
• Are they asking for money for something that you can’t see, can’t verify by references, and can’t ask for more information about without paying them money?
• Are they offering you some kind of job arrangement but asking for money first?
• Are they asking for money for something that under normal circumstances they would be paying YOU? (i.e. job offers, roommate arrangements, large inheritances from relatives you’ve never heard of)

Interesting questions. Experienced netizens are familiar with all of these, yet the scams abound. So for all you not-spending-money-ers, you can use your frugality as one more tool in your belt to build a good defense against scammers.