Wouldn’t it be great to have all the gaming systems in the world in your living room, and you could use any one you wanted? You could have all your friends over for Rock Band concerts and also just to veg and play Mario Kart. 

Wouldn’t it be great to have all the books in the world, and you could read them whenever you wanted and loan them out to friends, or they could come over and hang out on all the comfy chairs and giant cushions that you’d have as well.

Wouldn’t it be great to have a world-class kitchen with all the latest gadgets, and people could come and hang out and cook for you just because your kitchen is so great?

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to go into any craft store, like Michael’s or JoAnn’s, and be able to use whatever you wanted? You could try out new things just to see if you liked them, or to make presents for friends, or just because it looked cool. Or, you could get together with friends just to make stuff and hang out.

Wouldn’t it be great to have access to all the clothes in the world for free? You’d never run out of things to wear, and you could always put together just the right outfit for that particular event. And friends would come to you and ask to help them pick out outfits. (Hat image courtesy of La Femme.)

In any economy, good or bad, none of us have enough money, time, or space to amass all the goodies associated with every hobby we have.  Whether it’s power tools, office supplies, car mechanical accoutrements, there will always be somebody who has more and can do more stuff. And regardless of your own interests, specialty, or income level, there will always be something you can loan from your own personal library of accoutrements to other people who will want to share.

“But wait,” you say. “I hate lending stuff because it comes back all icky and destroyed and I can never get it back.”

That is because there is an Art of Lending.

Some basics to get started:

• Figure out what you enjoy sharing with other people.  Lending is a great way to start conversations with people on topics you both enjoy.  If you love books and love to discuss them, lend out your books to friends and future friends.  If you love doing art, loan your pastels to someone who dabbles i acrylics, and then hang out and talk about the results.  Recently, a friend had me over and we made jewelry with her copious supply of beads and findings.  She didn’t charge me for supplies, and next time I’ll have her over to paint or sew and I won’t charge her for supplies. 

• Figure out what things are worth to you, and what they’re not worth to you.  Lending out a movie to a sick friend means that the worst that could happen is that you spend $20 to replace it if it gets destroyed.  Lending out a handmade quilt for a friend’s baby’s picnic tablecloth means that the worst that could happen is that an irreplaceable heirloom gets destroyed with gras s stains and baby barf beyond belief. 

• Learn your personal lending style. Some people are the type to obsess over anything missing from their personal inventory.  They write their name in every book and never lend out their car.  This is really ok– it is not worth loaning something out if it will stress you out so much, but be honest with yourself about where you stand on this.  Other people, on the other hand, could easily give away their posessions and never miss them.  Most of us fall somewhere in between. Knowing where you fall in this spectrum, and being realistic about what you’re happy with can make the difference between feeling generous and feeling taken advantage of.  

• Know your friends.  Some people will return items in mint condition. You know if you loan them an outfit it will be returned dry cleaned with a bouquet of flowers and a thank-you note.  Other people will habitually trash items but be diligent about replacing them.  Still others will ask to borrow items but be perpetually late in returning them. Regardless of your personal lending style, take into account the person’s borrowing style when you lend items.  If you continually lend to a person who is late in returning, and that just happens to be your pet peeve, it is your fault for not taking that into account when they ask you again and again. 

• Offer to lend stuff. If you recommend a book or a movie to a friend, offer to lend it.  If a friend asks you for fashion advice and you have the perfect accessory, offer to lend it.  If someone expresses interest in the type of leash you have for your dog, and you have an extra one, offer to lend them your extra leash so they can try it before they buy one.  Unless people are very close to you, they won’t just ask, and it’s a great way to build bridges.

• It’s ok to say no. If you don’t want to lend something, you don’t have to. You don’t need a reason. If your friend gives you a guilt trip, that’s their problem.  And don’t be an idiot– if your friend returned something late the last ten times she borrowed something, don’t rely on her returning it on time in order for you to do that big presentation at work.

• If it’s important to you, there are a lot of home inventory software options available for free. Some of these, especially the home library software options, have modules written to keep track of the stuff you lend. Or you could just make yourself a spreadsheet. 

The wonderful thing about lending is that you don’t need more stuff to share what you have with the people you care about. 

Need I say more?

Then one of my friends asked if we could get some people together.  She would be more than happy to bring food for five people if I wanted to open my home.

This was a terrific idea!  I try to keep my place relatively trim and hospitable, and having people over is an excuse to tidy up, not an inconvenience.  Planning meals, for me, tends to be more stressful than running a feather duster over the TV and winding up the game console cords.  For her, cooking a meal for multiple people was more fun and less inconvenient than cleaning her home, organizing schedules, providing directions, etc.  It’s really a win-win situation.

Another friend can bring DVDs or maybe a game to teach us. Last time this group came over, we got on the Internet and looked up lists of the 100 Best Books Ever Written and tallied up who had read the most. It was a lot of fun. 

Sometimes it’s easy to avoid gatherings of friends because of the financial or emotional costs involved, so it’s tempting to go out to help alleviate these costs. But going to a movie theatre costs money. Going shopping costs money. Going to bars and restaurants costs money. Feeding people costs money. Driving costs money.  If you can pinpoint exactly what you do like (cooking, maybe) versus don’t like (cleaning, maybe) about getting together in one’s home instead of going out, you can work with your friends to arrange something that is fun for everybody, costs little (both in money and in effort) and is something you can do on a regular basis.  After all, most of the reason that we spend money going out with friends is because we want to build those connections.  The connections that I value most over time are with people that I enjoy talking with in my living room.  

Maybe you have a nice lawn and a friend with a croquet set. Maybe you know of a nice park and a friend with a frisbee. Maybe you have a nice tea set and a friend who knows of some good teas.  Or maybe you have a new coffee table book and a friend who you’d like to sit next to and pour over it together.  Maybe you have some stoneware clay and a friend who has a good garage for projects.  Or maybe you have a bunch of fabric you’ve inherited and a friend with a sewing machine.

It’s easy to let the overwhelming task of providing 100% for guests keep us from just showing up with half the story.  But sometimes, showing up with half the story can help build stronger friendships.  So what if you don’t have any peanut butter for sandwiches? If you’re willing to share the bread and the jelly, your friends might be more than delighted to share the rest.

 know how much mine costs. It costs $0.00. With a little ingenuity (or maybe a major paradigm shift) yours can cost $0.00 also. 

First of all, (and this is the hard part) you need to call up your cable provider and cancel. Do it now. I’ll wait.

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Are you back yet? Ok.

“Now what?” I hear you ask. Well, there are other, freeer sources of TV that you may not have tapped yet.

• If you just want mindless entertainment, sites like YouTube have plenty for everyone. 
• Most major networks have full episodes of your favorite shows available. Try the following:
• NBC : Click on Watch Video in the main menu, then select those shows with the green circles. These have full episodes to view
• CBS : Click on “Watch & Chat” and there will be a selection of full episodes to watch. These are arranged by”room” where you can discuss the merits of the content with other avid viewers.
• ABC : Click on the menu item that says “Free Episodes”, and watch free episodes of all that they have available.
• Cartoon Network : Click on “Video”, then “Shows”, then select the one you want to watch. They are only available for a limited period before new content replaces it.
• Check out other video sites like hulu.com or made-for-web cartoon sites such as homestarrunner.com

Whether you realize it or not, your friends might be an excellent source of TV.  For those of you who watch Gray’s Anatomy or Heroes just to be able to talk about it at the office the next day, why don’t you find people you’d enjoy discussing it with during the commercials? Commercials are better when you’re not watching them, anyway.  If TV is truly a social event for you, share it with somebody with a bigger screen and a better cable budget than you have.  It’s a great way to get to know people and maybe share something you love with someone new.  Plus, your friends might have an extensive existing DVD collection of shows you haven’t watched yet.  Chances are if they are excited enough about a show to buy the DVD, they will want you to borrow it, watch it and share in the wonderfulness that you might be missing otherwise.

I hesitate to mention this because Netflix does, in fact, cost money, but if you already have a Netflix account, you are already spending the money anyway. Do you realize you can get seasons of your favorite shows through the mail? It’s amazing! They play in your DVD player and everything. If you don’t already have Netflix (or insert media service of choice here), you might find that it’s cheaper to get a basic subscription than pay for cable. I know, I know, it’s a “spend less” mindset rather than a “spend none” mindset, but I mention it because it might be a cost-saving option. And it might be the “gateway” into just foregoing your TV altogether. 

This is actually my favorite TV option here. There are about a million things to do besides watching TV.  Maybe even a million and five. Anyway, there are a lot of alternate activities. You can go for a walk, play with your kids, start a novel, read a novel, learn a new skill, pick up some freelance work, put a few extra hours in to get that promotion, find a new job, learn to sew, learn to draw, volunteer, get more sleep, take a long bath, etc. I don’t know — go crazy. If boredom was seriously your main reason to watch TV, then you might be pleasantly surprised…

Well, even with all those options you might find that it is just too hard to cancel your cable. If the TV is too tempting, have you considered just selling the box altogether? Then you’d get extra cash, extra space, and one less bill every month. Plus, it might cut down on arguments about TV watching. But maybe that’s not for you. I’d just as soon keep it for movies and games, personally. Living without the cable bill (not to mention extra channels, pay-per-view, DVR, other various add-ons) is enough for me.